We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
