this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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