but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
