"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
