how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
