roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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