dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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