Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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