I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
