It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
