erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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