Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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