I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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