I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
