North Korea, Best Korea!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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