listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
