when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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