i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
