I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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