I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize