Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
