"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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