Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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