Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
