That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
