I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
