marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
