After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
