we're blogging at a bar
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
