did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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