So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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