Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
