Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
