Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe

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(606): View more from Kentucky

There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness

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(808): View more from Hawaii

for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing

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(602): View more from Arizona

I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.

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(954): View more from Florida

My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read

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(614): View more from Ohio

I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.

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