I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize