Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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