he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
