This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
