1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
