First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
