just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
