her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Bang-toberfest begins!!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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