I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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