you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
