forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
