One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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