I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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