im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
