Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
