Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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