Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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