I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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