so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My bed smells like the plague
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
