Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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