SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
