You can't special order awesome
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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