well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
