planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
