do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
