Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
