Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
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