Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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